Jesus Loves Me This I Know

Hey Beloveds,

I thought I'd take some time to pen down, share and boast of how much Jesus loves me!!

The last few months prior to my final exams has been an amazing journey for me, one that has been laced with challenges and important decisions, one where I have grown and matured a lot, and one where I have learnt to cast everything aside and look to Jesus alone. And I can say that Jesus has been faithful indeed. He never fails, and those who put their hope in Him are never put to shame (Psalm 71:1).

What I'm about to share isn't so much a testimony on just one aspect of His goodness in my life, but multiple facets of His providence, faithfulness, correction and leading. All in all, I just want to say that I've learnt how to live life according to the unforced rhythms of grace, to let Him teach me and lead me, to carry His yoke which is light and easy (Matt 11:20-30). There's so much to share, but let me just share two things with you this time.

Let me begin with a revelation of the importance of health over wealth. I've heard Pastor preach that many times in so many sermons before but I never fully understood why health is more important than wealth. I always thought, "Never mind what, I don't mind living a shorter life so long as i'm rich." But I missed the point totally. That could be true, if you're living life all alone by yourself.

On my birthday, all of you threw me a most undeservingly big birthday party. I had a double portion celebration both from Life Science CG and Computing/PR CG. The Ferrari was awesome, those who chose it had the anointing on them, it's one of the few Ferraris that look good from all sides - btw I love the rear view best with the huge GT wing (aka spoiler). But alas, that day I was extremely sick. It's an affliction which I had been bearing with for a very long time throughout my life. And on that day, I would say it was at its worst condition ever. It was so disabling and the pain was so excruciating that in the day I could not think straight, and at night I could not sleep well. And for the first time I truly experienced the health-giving properties of the Holy Communion (because I was desperate and nothing else worked!). The good news is that Selene laid hands on me prior to the birthday party, and I almost recovered fully by the next morning miraculously. The bad news is, I was in such pain that night that I, excuse the pun, literally had my cake and could not eat it. And seeing all the love that all of you showered on me, I felt extremely regretful that I could not fully receive it. That night the Lord showed me why health is more important than wealth, and my priorities have changed ever since - Jesus first, then health, then wealth.

Then comes the next trial. Is Jesus really first in my life? Do I really stand by my life's verse that those who "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all shall be added unto you" (Matt 6:33)?

While serving as an ambassador in Arrow, I've had the very, very honourable privilege of interacting with Coach Maddy, Coach Louis, Lynne, and especially Coach Sian Hwa. To be frank, joining ambassadors was initially a non-event for me. I was continuously questioning God whether is this really for me, and I didn't really care much for the interview, but because of the grace of God, the position was still given to me, and yet I still questioned God why. Today, I look back and I see that I am what I am today by the grace of God alone. I could have really screwed myself up and I wouldn't have experienced what I experienced, and know what I know today. My life would have turned out really different.

Joining ambs is one thing, but having the opportunity to befriend Coach Sian Hwa is another thing altogether. Fresh out of university, I wanted to find a job that I love doing. Isn't that what Pastor preached? Do what you love, and you will surely do well and prosper. So a no-brainer choice would be to sell cars - I love cars, and the money is extremely good if you can sell well. "But I have favour of God with me mah! No worries!" That's what I thought, despite finding out all the challenges of the job (meeting quotas etc) and the long hours required. However, this job had one problem - all my weekends and weekday nights would be burnt, and naturally I would have to step down from ambassadors (after having joined for just 2 months).

I was really hell-bent on this job. I thought, "Well, that's not fair to me what. I read before a testimony on church website about a lady who sold Toyotas and she shared about how God helped her in meeting her sales quota. If I serve ambs, then like that my career options very limited mah. Cannot be our church don't have people in car sales, real estate and insurance?" I shared this with Coach Sian Hwa, and he told me that yes, there are people in church in these professions, but at the end of the day, the only church event we should not miss is Sunday service, and no excuse since we have 4 of them!

When I heard that, I calmed down immediately and felt such peace. That arrested my heart and I questioned my priorities again. Isn't this how Jesus works? He gives us grace instead of trying to bind us with laws, and that grace transforms us supernaturally. This is where they say, the rubber meets the road.

So yeah, I had to make a stand. Whatever job I go for, I don't want to miss Sunday service, Arrow service, Bible Study (then it was still on) and Caregroup. More importantly, I want to be able to continue serving as an ambassador. I'll put Jesus first. Yes, my options are now limited, but that's where you really cast all your cares aside and take that leap of faith.

So with car sales striked off my list of potential jobs, I decided to base my job selection on 3 criterias - schedule, distance and pay. The nearer the work location, the better. I have to admit that pay is still important to me to an extent that I feel I should be paid according to my qualifiations. I can't say money isn't important too right? Somehow I knew that God would answer my prayers because I felt exactly the same way when I trusted Him for a downgrade and a clerk position in the Army. And miraculously, I got both, and MORE!!!

I decided earlier on that I will not apply for banks again, despite their high pay, because of their long hours. But I had this friend working in a bank in Tampines. She tells me the pay is high but the work is s*itty and the hours are quite long. But I thought again, "Hey! I got the favour of God with me and I don't mind working hard. God is not against us working hard, He's against us slogging for money right? After all, that bank is so near my home. Why not give it a try?" Sounds familiar? I was trying to reason myself out again. Obviously the money is one of the biggest motivations.

So I sent out 6 resumes, 5 to companies in the east and 1 to that bank. I waited for about 3 weeks with no reply from anyone. I was starting to feel a bit uneasy. So I got Jiawei to pray for me. Guess what? The next day, one company got back to me, and it was a company that didn't exactly pay very well. I went for the interview and got through to the second round. The job was ok, but I was still gunning for the bank. Usually what some people would do right now is that they would tell God to shut the door if this was not the job for them. But for me, I told God that I believe He won't shut doors in my face and make me go through rejection to prove a point. Even if this position wasn't for me, I believe He will still give me an awesome interview where I would not be put to shame!!! In the end, I believe I would still have the power to choose!!

Then 2 weeks ago, after 4th service, some of the Science ppl requested for prayers. So we prayed for each other before going home. And Angela prayed for me spontaneously over my career. Guess what? The next day, this company offered me a position. The miracle is this - there was a last minute pay rise one week before the offer, and now I'm paid similar to what I would be paid at the bank. I have an enormous number of days of leave, and I have some interesting perks that no other companies can offer. Most importantly, I have a 5-day work week with no OT; my weekday nights and weekends are all FREE!! I would only start work on 15 July, how nice of God to plan my schedule to start work only after the Zone is over! =)

The choice was obvious. Praise the Lord! God answers exceedingly, abundantly, above all that we can ever ask or think!!!!

And to show His abundance, the bank also called me up for interview, and I had to reject them instead!

I hesitated about sharing this openly because I've not started work yet. I've seen all too many a times of ppl who praise God when they get a job offer, only to find that the job sucks and they quit later on. But Cecilia shared with me something which boosted my faith in Jesus' goodness even further. I asked her if she felt nervous about accepting the miracle temp job that she's working in now. She told me, "No, because I know that if it's from Jesus, it has to be good!" Such child-like faith!!!

You know, I just want to say that when you put Jesus first, it might seem at first that you are losing out or you are making compromises. You cannot see how He will reward you, but the fact of the matter is, when you take that step of faith, He will never never never never never never never ever shortchange you!!! I hope that this sharing has blessed you. Thanks for reading!